Rise Above: Finding The Courage to Be More

dare to be differentOver the 4th of July weekend we attended a family party. My in-laws were having a small barbecue – one of my favorites. About the time that dinner hit, Cassie announced to everyone that I was on a diet. Looks were exchanged. Maybe you’ve been there. Snickers, rolling of the eyes, unsaid questions. It was a bit uncomfortable, but then I had to step back and ask myself why it mattered so much.

We all face these moments in life. You have chosen to do something different, to ask the why behind what you are doing and as a result, you stand out.

When you choose to pursue a different path than everyone else or to put yourself out there and be the best you can possibly be at something you also put yourself on a crash course to…

Conflict With Others

When you choose to be different, to ask why, or to push yourself harder than anyone else you will inevitably be questioned. The reasons for this often come down to one thing – for some reason you are not happy being like your social group. Let me illustrate this point for you.

Over the last year or so, I have been on a health kick. I’ve experimented with several diets along the way and just as many work out programs. 3 years of graduate school, an ultra busy work life and getting married had left me on the pudgy side and I just was not satisfied with my overall fitness. Up until about 2 months ago, the results had been mixed. Then I discovered two amazing resources, Robb Wolf’s Paleo Diet Solution and CrossFit. Things are finally working.

The problem is that no one gets what I am up to. I’ve heard a number of questions. “Is it safe?” “How much protein are you eating?” “Why can’t you just eat what we are eating?” “Don’t you know what a pain it is to make things just for you?” “Are you going to force your future daughter to eat this way?”

My choice to do things different has put me into direct conflict with many of my friends and family.

Conflict With Yourself

No matter the pursuit, your choice to be different will undoubtedly put you into conflict with yourself. We are creatures of habit and making the conscious decision to be different will lead you to do one of two things – fall back into old habits or consciously fight against them until you make the new way of being a part of who you are.

Working out on a consistent basis after years of avoiding it is tough. Add into it the external struggles you will face and you will often face a stacked deck that leads to falling back into the old habits.

You will have to ultimately answer one very important question – are you doing this for you or for others?

Courage My Friend

If your answer is “I am doing this for myself” then you have to be courageous and always remind yourself of this point. When people question your intentions, remember the why and dig in your heals. If your friends and family are not supportive, you may have to find ways to surround yourself with people who will support you.

If your answer is “I am doing this for others” then you may want to rethink what you are trying to accomplish. Though you may find some success along the way, when you run into conflict it will be doubly difficult to resist the urge to fall back into your old self.

Aim above the mark, but do it for the right reasons.

Join In The Conversation

What are you trying to do be different or stand out from the crowd? Why did you choose to do it and how are you staying committed to achieving extraordinary results?

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  • http://alantakushi.com Alan Takushi

    I totally get this post Jason. Too often I find myself “conforming” to what others want me to be. When I try to break out with a different idea or action, they immediately reel you back in. “That’s too dangerous” or “That won’t work” or “Why are you doing this” end up breaking down my ego and I slump back into a shell.

    Like you said, it’s tough to let go of your “comfort” people and surround yourself with like minded individuals who will support you. Many are friends but I’m not living for them. It’s scary to let go of some people but in end, I think I’ll be stronger and better off in the long run.

    • http://jwsokol.com Jason Sokol

      Thanks Alan. I’ve been very busy preparing for the baby’s delivery.

      A while back I read something on your blog that caught my interest – you are doing P90X. Are you still at it? I gave it a go for a few weeks but the workouts were so stinking long. What kind of fitness goals are you going after? Have you looked into CrossFit or the Paleo Diet at all?

      Anyway, back to your comment. A buddy of mine was reading the book “Connected.” He was telling me that the authors claimed that who you associate with you has more impact on who you become than you can possibly imagine. I’ve been playing with this a bit and it really seems to be the case. Think about the ramifications for everything from the work you do to the diet you eat. It’s a little mind boggling.

      @jwsokol

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